Love Thrills Life Skills

WHAT'S YOUR PLAN TO BEGIN 2010?

2009-12-27T14:23:00.000-08:00

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR
DON'T JUST MAKE NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
COME UP WITH A NEW VISION FOR THE NEW YEAR

BE HONEST… have you given 2010 any thought yet, beyond your normal work and daily responsibilities?

Asking it another way, have you thought of the way you will begin 2010?

Here are some suggestions:

List 5 lessons you learned about yourself and about your life in 2009? Look back at the good things, the bad things and the momentous events that happened in 2009 that made an impact in your life.

What do you want to leave behind in 2009? This is the bad stuff that you are going to place in the bin of 2009 memories that you don’t want brought forward into 2010. List at least 3 items or lessons.

What do you want to bring forward from 2009 to begin 2010? This is the good stuff that you want to keep or maintain as part of a new commitment to yourself in 2010. List at least 3 items or lessons.

On New Year’s Eve print out your list of what you want to leave behind in 2009, look at it, maybe read it aloud to others (or maybe keep it to yourself) and find a meaningful way to dispose of your list. This could be offering into a fire, ripping it up into shreds, flushing it down the toilet. Whatever feels right to you.

The key is to be aware of what you are leaving behind in 2009.

Sometime in early January, after recovering from your New Year’s celebration, print out your list of those lessons you want to carry forward to begin 2010.

Place this list somewhere you can always refer back to it.

And for extra credit, take this list of positive lessons and characteristics to begin 2010 and think about what you want to accomplish in 2010, like a plan of what you really, really, really want to happen in 2010, and how you will be different in 2010 in accomplishing this plan.

These are all suggestive ways to get focused and clear so you can avoid obstacles from the past, and see your way clear into the future you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want in 2010.

Have fun and Happy New Year!!!

WHAT IS THE SECRET TO SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS?

2009-10-25T02:34:00.000-07:00

THIS IS THE ONE SECRET EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW... DO YOU?

In over four decades of dating and being in relationships we’ve reached the conclusion that relationship failures come down to one vital ingredient… BOUNDARIES.

What is a boundary?

Having a boundary is when you are able to tell a telemarketer “”DON’T EVER CALL HERE AGAIN” when you are interrupted with an annoying phone call from someone wanting to sell you something you don’t want.

Having a boundary is when you can tell a drunken lounge lizard “NO THANK YOU” when you are hit with his slithery requests to buy you a drink.

Having a boundary is when you are asked a direct question by your partner and you don’t take it as a personal attack, but as an attempt to communicate.

Boundaries are complicated to describe, but necessary to have.

SO WHAT IS A BOUNDARY?

A boundary is a semi permeable membrane of your personal energy that separates you from others.

What does that mean?

The energy space of a boundary is a space that only you and you alone occupy. Think of a boundary as having your own room in life, a room that contains the things you want and keeps out the things you don’t want. Imagine what this room would be like? Filled with all of your favourite memories, and only positive thoughts.

That’s what a boundary does. A boundary helps you distinguish the stuff you don’t want from the stuff you want.

Basically, a boundary allows you to say NO to the things (or people) you don’t want in your life, and YES to the things (or people) you want in life.

Essentially, the single law of boundaries is: IF YOU CAN’T SAY NO TO PEOPLE (and mean it), YOU CAN’T SAY YES TO PEOPLE (and mean it). The implication being, a person who says YES all of the time and goes along with the plan, doesn't rock the boat in order not to disappoint others is someone who is often afraid to say NO.

A person who is afraid to say NO will be on the loosing end in most relationships!!! This is a guarantee. In an effort to avoid disappointing others this person will end up disappointing himself. Instead of an equal partnership where love is shared between two individuals, a person who struggles with saying NO to what he/she doesn't want will place the responsibility on the partner to make decisions and this will make the relationship lopsided and off-balance.

Inevitably, the relationship will collapse in disappointment and anger.

THIS HAPPENS ALL OF THE TIME... DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE THAT MILLIONS OF UNHAPPY COUPLES HAVE MADE

If you, or someone you know, is afraid to say NO for fear of disappointing others KEEP READING and practice the exercise at the end of this posting, and you will experience a QUANTUM LEAP in your relationships.

HOW STRONG ARE YOUR BOUNDARIES?

Say you’re at work and it’s the end of the day and you’re about to leave the office when your boss rushes up and asks you if you could review a thick set of documents before leaving for the day.

Which answer best demonstrates having boundaries?

a) Say okay, smile and mumble “asshole” under your breath

b) Look at the documents, become anxious with the thought that if you don’t fulfill this task your boss will give you the sack

c) Say you can’t do it now because it’s time for you to leave and you need to get home

d) Take the work home with you and review it later that evening and send your boss an email later.

e) Ask for the deadline and negotiate a time when you can get it done in a way that is more relaxing and less stressful for everyone involved

The best boundary response is answer E.

Here’s another question in the above example. Which response would you think your boss would want to hear?

Mostly, insofar as boundaries are concerned, E is the BEST RESPONSE IN ALL SITUATIONS.

Boundaries allow WIN-WIN situations to happen EVERYTIME. All successful relationships are WIN-WIN, each partner wins in the end, and there are no losers. This also applies to teams, organizations, and families.

WHY ARE BOUNDARIES SO IMPORTANT?

Boundaries are like a traffic light, directing traffic, inflows and outflows of communication, energy and emotions that lead to authentic ways of being.

As far as we are concerned BOUNDARIES ARE THE SECRET TO ALL SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS!!!

WANT TO EXPERIENCE THE SECRET TO SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS?

DO YOUR BOUNDARIES HOMEWORK AND WATCH EVERYTHING CHANGE!

To strengthen your boundaries, start with this basic tip.

EACH WEEK THIS MONTH MAKE SURE YOU SAY “NO” AT LEAST 10 TIMES.

Throughout this week and the next month, count each time you’ve said NO to something you really didn’t want and then notice the positive feeling afterwards.

You’ll notice it actually feels very good to say NO, especially when you REALLY don’t want to do something.

For you positive thinking junkies out there who are thinking saying “NO” will kill off sun blossoming good vibrations and possibilities, think again. If you are afraid to say NO to something you don’t want, you WILL FOR CERTAIN take on more work and responsibilities than is necessary and end up BEING RESENTFUL in the end.

This is why most relationships end, BECAUSE OF RESENTMENTS.

Just saying “YES” all of the time is not the answer to life. Sometimes, you have to risk being unpopular and say NO. This reduces resentments, increases personal power and makes communication so much easier.

HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU SAY NO THIS WEEK?

Post a comment below and let us know.

HAPPY BOUNDARY SETTING!!!

Joshua and Angela

WHAT’S THE ONE THING EVERYONE NEEDS ON A DATE THAT IS SO HARD TO GET?

2009-09-12T03:24:00.000-07:00

CREATING TRUST IS THE SECRET TO SUCCESSFUL DATING EXPERIENCES

We've heard so many complaints from people in relationships and dating.

We've heard (and experienced) how meeting someone new is so hard.

We've heard (and experienced) how staying together is difficult.

We've also heard how making commitments is so scary for some people.

Follow these hints below if you want to get "street smart" about relationships and dating...

What's the one thing everyone needs on a date that is so hard to get?

Here are a few clues to the answer:

The answer is...

A 5-letter word.
Ends with the same letter as it begins with.
Has u in the middle.
Is on the money.
Did you get it?

The answer is TRUST

Without trust no relationship can be successful, no date goes as intended, and without trust true intimacy among couples is difficult to impossible.

Basically, without trust there is no integrity, and without some integrity building a successful relationship is a distant dream.

Here is a simple quiz that can improve your relationships by strengthening trust...

Answer the following:

Are you a trustworthy person? Rank yourself (10-highest 1-lowest)
Who is the most trustworthy person in your life? This is a person you can ABSOLUTELY depend on. Rank this person on their trustworthiness (10-highest 1-lowest)
What traits do you admire the MOST about this trustworthy person in your life?

List 5 traits.

Examples of trustworthy traits that breed success in relationships are:

reliability

honesty

keeping your word

showing up on time

working hard

Choose 5 trustworthy traits to describe the most trustworthy person in your life, or use any of the above traits if they fit.

COACHING EXERCISE

For each day this week, take one trustworthy trait and apply it to your life.

Using the above examples here's how your week could look:

Monday I'll be reliable on every task for the entire day, no excuses (a great practice to do everyday).

Tuesday I'll be completely honest all day. I will tell the truth no matterwhat (hard to do but necessary, use discretion).

Wednesday I will keep my word and do what I say I will do NO MATTERWHAT (guarenteed success if you put this into practice everyday).

Thursday I will be on time all day to every event I agree to attend (this marks the difference between an average person and an extraordinary person).

Friday I will work the hardest I've ever worked in my life all day long (keep up this practice and you can plan for early retirement).

Take the 5 traits from your trustworthy "role model", apply them to your life this week and notice a different feeling around trusting others, specifically your partner, or future partner.

The more trustworthy you are the more you improve your trustworthiness on a date and in your relationship. You will develop strong boundaries, trust yourself more, and improve your chances for greater success in love.

Being trustworthy will turn your dating frown to a happy grin.

You will also change other basic behaviours that may be holding you back from your goals.

Have fun this week nurturing trust.

Joshua and Angela

HOW TO BEAT STRESS... LOOK HEALTHIER

2009-09-05T13:43:00.000-07:00

IN 30-SECONDS AND 5 EASY STEPS YOU CAN IMPROVE YOUR LOOKS AND INCREASE YOUR BODY'S HEALTH

In our age of advanced technology there is one thing that is not advancing, our ability to cope with stress.

The number one problem with stress is a brain chemical called cortisol.

Cortisol is not only released when we're stressed, but can have long term ill effects on the body including a weakened immune system

Chronic stress leads to...

increased blood pressure and blood sugar levels
increased chances of clinical depression
increased chances of burnout and adrenal dysfunction
impaired learning ability
chronic fatigue and sleep disorders
frequent urination
upset stomachs and increased gastric acid

Studies have shown how STRESS damages the body as evidenced through increased cortisol levels in the blood when subjects are exposed to stressors during controlled experiments.

OVERALL stress has a negative impact on collagen production, which allows the skin to be supple and younger looking.

The bottom line? Stress leads to increased cortisol production and over time too much cortisol can make your skin age faster. NOT TO MENTION cortisol has been linked to weight gain and increased toxicity in the body.

THE SECRET TO LOOKING YOUNER IN 30 SECONDS is eye movements.

Eye movements RELAX your entire body

ACCELERATE your brain's ability to organize information

Help you CALM DOWN in seconds

Help to REGULATE cortisol levels

Try moving your eyes in AN INFINITY PATTERN (a sideways number 8)

STEP 1 Close your eyes take a deep inhale and exhale through the mouth blowing the air out.

STEP 2 Imagine an infinity sign (sideways number 8) at the center of your nose

STEP 3 Begin to move your eyes following the infinity sign at the center of your nose

STEP 4 After 8 rotations REVERSE the direction of eye movements another 8 times

STEP 5 After 8 rotations in the REVERSE relax your eyes and breathe deep

In 5 EASY STEPS and 30-SECONDS of eye movements you can lower your cortisol levels, look YEARS younger and improve your body's overall health.Have fun and enjoy the compliments you will receive after only a few days of regular, relaxing eye movements.